Irving's Pep Talk
by shopgirl152
Summary: When Ferb disappears right before the big soccer match against his British cousins, it's up to Irving to track him down and bring him back. As well as give him a rousing pep talk. one-shot. From the episode My Fair Goalie.


**A/N 1: **The dialogue spoken by Phineas, Irving and Ferb towards the end was pulled directly from My Fair Goalie. I do not own the lines; I am merely using them to add to the story. The lines are owned by the brilliant minds of Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh.

**A/N 2**: A big thanks to MidnightMoonshyne, who reminded me that Baljeet was the one who gave Ferb back his stuff, not Buford. The error has been corrected.

* * *

><p>"Okay, let's see…" Irving set a whistle on his bed, ticking a checklist off his fingers. "Whistle, referee uniform, soccer—I mean, football—rulebook, penalty flag, bucket of dry ice. Check, check, check, check and check." He glanced at the dry ice. "Not sure why Phineas wants dry ice, but I'm sure there's a reason. Okay, now to get star—"<p>

The sound of his cellphone ringing interrupted his thoughts. He picked it up. "Hi Phineas."

"Hey Irving. Uh…I need a favor."

Irving bit back an excited squeal. "Name it."

"I need you to find Ferb. We just finished building the X-7 stadium, but Ferb is nowhere to be found. I think the pressure of the soccer game and his cousins questioning his Britishness got to him. He's run off and I have no idea where he could be. We can't play the game without him. You need to find him. And fast."

"Phineas, you can count on me."

"Great! Bring him to the stadium when you find him. And yourself of course, since you know, you're the referee. I gotta go; Ferb's cousins are beginning to look impatient." The line clicked off as Phineas hung up.

Irving quickly hung up, throwing on his uniform and whistle, tucking the penalty flag and rulebook into his back pocket. "It's go time."

* * *

><p>He had to get away. There was just to much pressure. He could have held his own against his cousins, and had been doing quite well, until Baljeet decided to give him back his stuff.<p>

Seriously, the banjo CDs alone would have been enough to have his cousins tease him for weeks. But the American unitard? "Well, that was poor taste." Seriously, why did Baljeet have to give it back to him then?

And then there was Phineas. His brother and best friend. The one who talked for the both of them. Only this time, it was to much talking.

Phineas was a great brother, but there were the rare times when Ferb wished he didn't talk so much. Like today.

He sighed as he entered the park. He knew Baljeet and Phineas hadn't meant it. They were only trying to help. Well, Phineas was anyway. Baljeet's motives were questionable. "They just don't understand."

Ferb made his way through the park, stopping beside a bush. Making sure no one was around, he climbed through a small hole near the ground, emerging in a clearing on the other side.

His quiet spot. The place he came to when Phineas talked to much, or when he just needed to think. He lied down on the grass in a patch of sunlight. "Ah. Much better."

"Ferb? Ferb! Ferb, where are you?"

He sat up. "Irving?"

A moment later, Irving's head appeared at the hole. "Ferb! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! The game's about to start! Your team needs you!"

Ferb crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not going."

"Not going? But wh—" Irving struggled to get through the hole. "Uh, little help?"

He rolled his eyes, grabbing Irving's hands and pulling him through the hole.

"Thanks. That's a tight hole. How did you even squeeze through?"

Ferb smirked. "I'm skinny."

"Hey! I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that's no reason to insult me."

Ferb shrugged.

"Oh I get it. The silent treatment." Irving rolled his eyes. "Very funny. But you didn't answer my question."

"Technically you didn't ask it."

"Alright Mr. Smartypants. Be that way. Don't tell me. Just abandon your team when they need you the most. Forget about loyalty." He turned around, ready to leave. "Irving is out! Peace!"

"Wait."

He turned back around, tapping his foot impatiently. "Well?"

Ferb sighed. "It's the Emu curse."

* * *

><p>"That's it? A herd of Emu carried off your assistant coach and you're cursed? That's why you abandoned your team?"<p>

Ferb glared at him. "Perhaps you missed the part where I said I'm cursed?"

"No I get that, but—"

"I'll never be on a winning team. My team will lose and I'll be a disgrace in front of my cousins."

"So what?" Ferb stared at him. "They're your friends. No matter if you win or lose, they'll be there for you."

"Yes, but—"

"No buts!" Irving jumped to his feet, raising a finger high in the air. "The day will come when you'll lose face in front of your cousins. The day will come when you'll want to stop playing soccer after eleven minutes—"

"Technically it's thirty this week."

Irving ignored him. "But that day is not today! Yes you may experience the agony of defeat, but never forget! Your friends are there for you! And if you don't do it for yourself, then who will you do it for? Your cousins? No! Your brother? Yes! Isabella? Yes! Baljeet? Yes! Buford—" he paused. "Well, maybe not Buford. But! You deserve to go out there and give it your all! Curse or no curse! Now, are you with me?"

Ferb stared at him, considering. "Yeah, alright."

"Alright!"

"I just have one question though."

"What's that?"

"What's with the bucket of dry ice?"

"I _don't_ know."

* * *

><p>"If I know my brother, he'll come through for us." Phineas looked up as the door to the stadium opened. "Ferb!"<p>

Irving appeared in the doorway. "Hi guys! I brought some dry ice. Oh, and I brought Ferb too."

His teammates cheered. "FERB!"

Phineas rushed over to him. "Ferb! You came to play!"

"As long as my team will have me, curse and all."

"Of course we will! It's not about winning; it's about the joy of the game!" Phineas hugged him. "What made you change your mind?"

Ferb looked over at Irving. "Let's just say I was given a very rousing pep talk."

"From Irving?"

Ferb smiled as he slung an arm around his brother's shoulder. "I'll explain it all later." They walked over to the middle of the field where Irving was standing.

"Okay guys, let's make this a fair game." He tossed the ball onto the field, blowing his whistle. As Ferb ran by, he gave him a thumbs up. Irving smiled to himself. "My work here is done." He started as he noticed something on the field. "Wait! Buford! No tackling!"


End file.
